My girlfriend and I have been living together for four years. Recently, she has been particularly busy at work, and when she comes home we talk less, and she is cold to me.
I didn't contact her for two days after that and she ignored me, so I got mad and told her to move out.
I called that night to get back together.
She said she never wanted to see me again, was completely disappointed in me, and didn't think we were going to make it.
I took the afternoon of the third day off work to go to her office, called and she didn't answer, probably called me after seeing my car and told me to hurry up, didn't want to see me. She had just stabilized and was almost in tears.
She said she was going to her aunt's house in a few days and would pass by where I work, so we'll talk then.
Is there a chance I'll get back together? What should I say?
Hello, friend!
A warm hug to you first!
I can feel your anxiety and would love to talk to you.
1. Every conflict is an opportunity for us to improve our relationship.
You ignored her for two days.In a fit of pique, she was made to move out.On the surface it looks like an impulsive behavior, but behind it may be the accumulated resentment of your miscommunication.
You don't really want to break up, but you are uncomfortable with the current pattern of getting along.
This suggests that the problem is with communication, not that you personally have a problem.
Now is the perfect time to calm down and figure out how to adjust.
Intimacy needs to be fulfilling for both parties, and one party can't always give in.
It's easy to love and hard to get along.
Take this opportunity to think about how you each expect to be in a relationship and how you can get along to make each other happy.
2. Being in love is a lesson that needs to be learned constantly.
There are different phases of a relationship, such as the hot phase, the bonding phase, and the stabilization phase.
If the two don't share common interests or values, it may feel like having a partner is almost as bad as not having a partner, and the other person doesn't seem to need you.
This is the natural process by which intimacy develops.
Knowing these patterns can help you understand each other better and reduce arguments.
Learn communication skills at all stages.
The only way to make a relationship more harmonious is to have a method.
3, try to find a solution, I think there is a lot of hope for getting back together.
If your girlfriend is adamant about breaking up, she probably can't stand your attitude at the time.
For a change, who wants to be kicked out all of a sudden?
So you know what to do.
It's easier to understand her by putting yourself in her shoes more often.
As for her being busy at work and communicating less, that's something the two of them need to face and adjust to together.
I recommend you check out the books Nonviolent Communication and The Five Languages of Love.
Don't let communication problems tear apart people who love each other.
Communicate honestly and do your best.
Bless you!