Sometimes when I cry, I suddenly feel that it's too funny to cry, but when I laugh, I can't help but shed tears, and I feel that no one understands the hardness and sadness inside me at all.
Is this an emotional outburst? I can't control myself, I can't tell if I'm laughing or crying, I just feel like my heart is full of sadness and tears are flowing. I hate this world and feel like I can't cope with it and don't know what to do with it. Fear and dread haunted me all the time and even made me think about dying and ending it all. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to look at anything, I just want to run away from here, from this world.
Hi! Sending you a warm hug through the air first. I'm glad to see your plea for help and I hope my sharing will give you some support and help.
The first step to change is acceptance. Accept and allow yourself to express and release extremely painful emotions in this way. Emotions are not good, bad, right or wrong, they often hide unseen, unanswered, unmet needs behind them, so emotions need to be seen, accepted and responded to.
You need to realize that it's not really the emotion itself that's causing you pain, it's your inability to accept that you're expressing it in this way. You can try to share this emotion with a close friend or family member, you need to get more support from them.
Of course, you can also try recording these painful and uncomfortable emotions in a journal, which is a great way for you to see, express and release emotions, and also helps you to better notice, feel and sort out your emotions and explore the needs behind them.
Our relationship with the world is really a projection of our relationship with our inner self. When there is an inability to live in harmony within, and there is all kinds of resentment, harshness, dissatisfaction and non-acceptance of ourselves, and we are not properly aware of it, we project that part onto others.
That's why it's important for you to make a conscious effort to learn better self-acceptance, develop self-confidence, and improve your sense of self-worth. Only when you accept yourself wholeheartedly from the inside out and believe that you are good enough and worthy of being treated well, will you dare to be brave enough to ask for help when you are uncomfortable, especially when someone else's thoughtless words or actions make you uncomfortable.
I'm Lilly the Answer House Little Ears, and the world and I love you.