During the vacation, my cousin's uncle brought his cousin to take the admission test of our school. Before that, it had been my mother who took the initiative to contact them and introduce the test, and my mother and I accompanied them throughout the test day.
I added my cousin's uncle on WeChat, but he never reached out to me.
When I failed the exam, my cousin's uncle wanted me to get connections, but my cousin's grades were so bad that I said it was impossible and suggested she go back to study and take the exam next time.
The second time we took the test, they didn't tell us, and we ended up passing the test, but the admissions teacher filled in someone else's name.
I expected this, but what pisses me off is that my mom worked her ass off for this and ended up with a hot mess.
I found out before my cousin called my mom to explain.
I told my mother that I didn't care about the results of the exams, but I was sorry that she had been so kind to her relatives, but not all of them had appreciated her kindness. I hoped that she would not be like that to all the relatives in her mother's family, and that she would put herself too low, and should help the needy rather than the poor.
As a result, my mom said I was not considerate at all and kept defending my cousin's uncle.
We had a fight about it, then made up, and I thought it was over.
Today, my mom met them and came back to revisit the old story, continuing to explain for them that she wanted me to put myself more in my relative's shoes.
I was angry and said it was over, but she was always speaking for my cousin and the others, trying to get me to forgive.
Hello, friend!
Mom has been trying to mediate between you and your relatives in the hopes that you will forgive each other, an approach that has left you a little bit of a loser. A warm hug to you first!
Conflict between me and my relatives
At first, it was the other guy who didn't reach out to me (it was all my mom's doing), and then he stopped contacting me probably because I wasn't helping, which made me feel a little angry and like he didn't respect me or my mom who was running around for this. Not to mention he was probably a little upset that I didn't fulfill the requests he made. The next year, they found someone else to help without us knowing.
The other person may get a little upset and get emotional when we fail to meet their needs. The truth is, we don't live to pander to others, so even if we don't help, it's not our fault.If the other person complains about it, we can't change their mind.
I don't think your idea is wrong, and I don't think mine is necessarily right, we just have different ideas.
Mom's approach
From the point that mom always wants to help distant relatives, she is a warm-hearted and proactive person. She would be especially happy if she could help others. Even if in the end, others may not need her help, she does not feel aggrieved.
From our perspective, we don't quite approve of Mom's behavior.
Again, I don't think my mom's ideas are wrong or that mine are necessarily right, we just have a difference in outlook with my mom.My mom is always trying to mediate between me and my relatives to get me to change my attitude. I feel like my mom doesn't respect my feelings.
We can communicate with mom in a different way.
For example:
Mom, you have a good point, and I can understand where you're coming from. But in this case, everyone has a different outlook. What the other person did before hurt me and I need time to calm down. I hope mom can give me more time and respect my feelings too.I'm Tina, the world and I love you. ❤️❤️❤️