I'm three years older than my best friend, and the two of us have always had a particularly ironic relationship. In the past, how I messed with him and joked around, he didn't care, but in the last six months, he began to resist my physical contact, even holding hands, holding arms can't. He confessed that he is a little resistant to older than him. But I feel that if this continues, there will always be a layer of separation between us, and we can't be as close as we used to be. What should I do?
Hi, building owner! I can tell from your description that you are an easy-going person who is very liberal with your friends. The fact that you are able to interact so intimately means that the foundation of the relationship is great. But now he's showing rejection and saying it's because of his age, which makes you feel estranged ......
First of all, it's super important for people to get along with each other with a sense of proportion. Let me tell you a story about hedgehogs: in winter, two hedgehogs tried to get warm by leaning together, but they would get hurt by each other's thorns if they got too close. Later they adjusted their distance so that they could keep warm without getting hurt. This is the "hedgehog effect", reminding us to keep a proper distance in our relationships. Maybe he said he doesn't accept older guys is just a pretext, in fact, he is more introverted and conservative, not too much like physical contact. At first he thought you were joking, freshness over the natural resistance. Appropriate physical contact can bring the relationship closer, but have to respect each other's wishes. If too frequent or forced, but will be like a hedgehog hurt feelings. Getting along, according to the degree of intimacy to maintain the distance, do not cross the line, or the other party will feel violated. Friendship is like holding sand; if you hold it too tightly, it will flow away, and if you hold it too loosely, it will fall apart. Find that comfortable distance and the relationship will last.
When dealing with friends, always remember not to always think of asking for something. When you're close, you have expectations, and if you don't fulfill them, you complain, and it makes you tired. True friendship is pure, too much demand will spoil the relationship. People and people's relationship is an art, it is not easy to do well. Whether it is relatives and friends or classmates and colleagues, good when you can wear the same pants, after the fallout may be old and dead. Life should have the scale, feelings do not cross the line. Good relationship, but also to grasp the degree, too close to easily produce conflicts, and finally can only drift apart.