I come from a single-parent family, my father sent me to my aunt's house for school in my first year of junior high school, and as a result, they found all sorts of excuses to scold me every day, and I could only hold back my tears and secretly shed them, and they kept saying in front of my relatives how disobedient I was.
I actually take care of everything on my own, yet they are always picking on me and my mom, but I'm too much of an introvert to ever say anything about it.
I cried all day in the first year, and now I'm in the second year, and I've been scolded so much that I've become numb, and I've started to hurt myself, and lately I seem to be a little depressed, and I can't concentrate on anything, and I'm really afraid that my grades will fall.
Hi, first a warm hug to you! I'm glad you were brave enough to ask for help, and I hope what I've shared gives you a little strength. From your description, I can sense the hurt caused by your parents' divorce, especially being sent to your aunt's house by your dad, which gave you a taste of the aggravation and powerlessness of being abandoned, blamed and unloved.
As a junior in high school, you may not be able to completely change your situation right now, after all, you still have to rely on your dad for your life. But don't forget that even if your parents are separated, your mom still has the responsibility to take care of you, and since you're already in middle school, you actually have the right to choose who you want to live with. Should you try to contact your mom and tell her what you think?
You can gather your courage and find some time to have a good talk with your dad, tell him how you really feel at your aunt's house, such as how hard it is to be scolded, and let him know that you can't be treated like this. If your dad still insists on letting you stay at your aunt's house and keeps criticizing you, don't be afraid to seek help from the local women's federation or police station and apply for a change of provider.
You may be in so much pain because you unknowingly identified with their scolding and felt that you were not good enough. But remember, it's not your fault that your parents divorced, you're just the innocent affected child. You can't choose your family of origin, but after realizing the trauma, you can slowly learn to change, it's hard, but you must try. Also, remember to call 12355 Youth Rights Hotline, there are people there who can help you.
I'm Lilly the Little Earther from the Answer House, and the world and I love you.