I am 33 years old, a female, currently single, and have an average family.
Now I am standing at the crossroads of my life, with two paths in front of me, but not knowing what to choose.
Currently I'm in Shenzhen, working for a family member's company, but the company's operations are not too stable and I'm still in the adaptation and learning stage myself.
There is a more secure job over at my old home, and I have a good chance of getting in, but I'm very torn up inside right now.
I had a hard time deciding whether to stay in Shenzhen and struggle with my family or go back to my hometown to find a secure job.
In fact, I'm not sure I could take a job in the system, the kind of life where you can see your head at a glance.
But inwardly, I long for stability, so I feel very conflicted and don't know what to do.
Hello, I'm Mr. Liu. I hope my answer can give you some help.
Regarding choice obsession: it should be noted that you are probably a better person, which is why you have choice obsession. You should know that there are still many people in this world who don't have the chance to choose. But facing the choice of working in Shenzhen or going home to work, you feel difficult, which may be because you haven't thought clearly about what you really want.
On the idealized self: many times our distress comes from having an idealized self within us. When this ideal is not realized, it creates hesitation and pain. It seems that neither of these options is the most satisfying for you, are there any other possibilities?
ε Bless you. I am in, the world and I love you.