Unconsciously, the breakup has been over a hundred days. The relationship that lasted more than three years, after the end of the I have never been able to erase her from the memory, the heart is empty, always feel that life is not complete without her. Although I have tried various ways to get back, but her attitude is very firm, which makes me feel incredibly sad and low. I can't get up the energy for daily chores, I lose my appetite, I can't sleep at night, and I'm especially sensitive to everything about her, even paranoid. Occasionally, when some horrible thoughts popped up, I would cry helplessly like a child but didn't know how to cope with my emotions. In the face of this relationship, I still love her, and my first love has not changed.
Hi, buddy!
It's really heartbreaking to read what you've shared and to be able to feel that you're still struggling after a breakup. Sending you a warm hug!
It's been a while since we've been apart, but you don't seem to be able to really let go.
1. That feeling of vacancy and incompleteness
My heart is empty. It's like my life can't go on without her.
In the time you spend together, you may not notice what you give to each other, but she remembers you well. Slowly, you become a part of each other's lives, and the other person's perspective supplements the gaps in your perceptions.
After losing Ta, people often feel that their world is suddenly missing a corner and is no longer complete.
This sense of vacancy, whether filled by yourself or someone else, takes time to get used to, but at first it always feels like a hole that will never be filled.
2. The shock of lost love
Loss of love means a break in intimacy; we lose our daily companionship, certain thoughts of conviction, and even a part of our self-identity.
Time will help us slowly find ways to cope with loss, and there is no set timetable for this process.
The pain of a lost love is real and hurts just as much as a physical injury. So we don't have to repress our grief, but learn to carry it with us as we move on.
3. Why you just can't let go
We often unconsciously think of our exes (and derive fleeting pleasure from them) or try to get back together (because the attachment is still there);
Sometimes we can't tell the difference between our "imaginary ex" and the "real Ta", and those imaginations are often pieced together from the best memories and inner desires.
These imaginings bring comfort, but they also make us more dependent on our exes, fixated on the idea that Ta is the only one who is right.
How can I better let go? (Letting go isn't easy, but these tips might help)
1. Give yourself more care
Be gentle with yourself, don't blame yourself for all your relationship failures, and have less self-blame and regret. Treat yourself with kindness, reduce self-criticism and let your mood slowly calm down.
2. Reacquaint yourself with yourself and deepen your self-understanding
Like asking, "Who am I really without Ta?"
"What do I really like, what do I hate, what do I seek?"
3. Move to make a difference
Take care of your body first. Eat on time and get some sleep. (Pay attention to nutrition and rest)
Engage in more activities that stimulate dopamine, such as sports exercise.
Pick up your old hobbies again, which can help you make new friends over time.
Find a trusted friend to talk to. (Don't sulk. Love loss happens. Listen to your friends.)
If emotions are seriously affecting your work and life, seek the help of a counselor who can help you clear your mind and provide support.
I'm Tina and the world and I are here to love you. ❤️❤️❤️