I'm an introvert, and I'd actually like to talk to people more, but often the other person's reaction makes it feel less desirable afterward, and all of a sudden I'm back to square one. I just want to have a relaxed communication atmosphere, and I really want to change this situation. Am I asking too much of others? Or have the people around me changed? Or is it my own way of looking at people that is off?
Hi. - Hi! First of all, I'll give you a warm hug through the air. I'm glad to see you share this, and I hope my thoughts can give you some support. From your description, I can sense that you seem to attribute most of the success or failure of your communication to the other person's attitude, which unintentionally puts you in a more passive position, as if you don't have much initiative.
In fact, communication is a two-way street, and everyone in the relationship affects the direction of the interaction. If you want the relationship to go in a good direction, try taking the initiative to make some adjustments, such as treating yourself and others the way you would like to be treated, as your behavior will often guide how others respond to you.
Also, you mentioned that you're introverted, and I'd say that there's no absolute introversion or extroversion in personality; it's more relative. For example, when dealing with familiar friends or family members, you may be more relaxed and talk more, right?
So don't be so quick to label yourself as an "introvert", as labels tend to limit you. The reason why you shy away from unfamiliar situations may be your subconscious self-protection, fearing that you will be rejected or hurt if you are not good enough, so you don't dare to take the initiative to integrate.
But when you realize your true needs and feelings behind always not being treated ideally in a relationship, you can change things for the better. For example, make a conscious effort to learn some communication skills and improve your communication skills. Try treating yourself and others in an expectant manner because your change will drive the other person to change, after all, relationships are mutual.
I'm Lily Little Ears from the Answer Museum. Remember, the world and I care about you.