Wish there was a way to leave that wouldn't make people think I'm a poor bearer or ungrateful ......
Every day, thoughts of suicide recur in my mind. I even fantasized about becoming seriously ill or meeting with an accident so that no one would accuse me of being weak or ungrateful if I left, because they wouldn't even understand what I was going through.
At least die with some dignity, why don't you just end it like this, you really don't want to live anymore.
Hi, I don't know what words to use to comfort you, but I can't ignore what I see you pouring out. Because I have had similar thoughts in the past and made practical actions driven by a number of things.
But those didn't relieve me. After I was discharged from the hospital, I mentioned many times to my closest friend that I still wanted to leave the world, but even she couldn't understand it, and even got tired of me for bringing it up again and again. It's actually quite normal, and I don't blame her, but it's hard not to feel disappointed, especially when she says it:
"If death is truly a relief, then go ahead. I truly wish you peace."
I knew in my heart that she wasn't really saying this because she thought that death would be a relief or that I should do it, but that she had chosen to give up on me. At that moment, I began to look squarely at my own life - even though my friends and parents might give up on me because they were bored or didn't understand, I couldn't do it myself. I want to value myself, love myself, and be that person who is not willing to give up on my life.
So when I read your question today, no matter what you've been through, I respect your feelings and experiences, but I still want to hold you back and hope that you hang in there and continue to live.
If the emotions have gotten in the way of your normal life and are making you think about leaving the world, it may be worthwhile to seek professional help. You can go to the hospital and get prescribed some medication or get counseling. I just recently talked to a teacher on this platform and it really helps to find someone to talk to. I truly wish you the best and implore you not to leave.