The family's 7 year old boy, who occasionally goes silent and just stares at you with that look of wanting to say something.
As soon as you open your mouth to ask him, he instead closes it even tighter and refuses to spill a word.
No matter how hard you press, the child just won't talk about it, leaving you dry.
When a mom's patience is worn thin, she can't help but get fired up and lose control of her emotions.
How exactly do you guide your child so that he learns to take the initiative and express his thoughts and needs?
Dear Parents, Hello! I can especially relate to the situation you mentioned about your 7-year-old boy who stammers when he wants to say something and refuses to open his mouth no matter how much he is asked, causing his mom to easily lose patience and freak out. First of all, I want to make sure that what you are describing is your own experience? Or are you observing this phenomenon as another loved one of your child? Regardless of your role, I know what it's like to be a mom: when you see a child who's not talking, your first reaction is often to worry that the child is in trouble, being bullied, or needs help. As a mother, you want to find out the truth as soon as possible, but the child refuses to talk, and when parents get anxious, they tend to get emotional and lose control of their temper.
Here I would like to ask if this is the first time this has happened to your child, or has it happened several times? Have you ever wondered why your child is hesitant to speak? Is it because he is afraid of the consequences of speaking up, or is he worried about being criticized? What will happen if he doesn't speak up, and what will happen if he does? Does the mom truly understand the child's intentions? Is enough respect and feedback being given? Does the child trust the mom? All of these factors are key to parent-child communication. As you said, the child hesitates to speak up, and the mom gets angry before she even hears it, which in turn makes the child even more afraid to speak up. Perhaps there have been similar experiences before where the child worked up the courage to speak up, only to have the mom get angry or even scold, causing the child to lose trust. Once the child feels that the mom is unstable and gets angry easily, he or she will naturally be reluctant to communicate.
In addition, I would like to remind you that children are actually capable of expressing themselves, but they are only willing to confide in people who trust and understand them, such as playmates or loving grandparents. To win the child's trust, the mother has to control her emotions first and not make the child feel that she will be scolded if she tells the truth. Parent-child communication should be based on equality, not on a high pedestal, thinking "I am the parent, you have to listen to me". Instead, you should be like a friend, crouch down and talk to your child on an equal footing, avoiding the use of commands or lectures. Communication is not just about passing on information, but also about bridging the parent-child relationship. Only by taking trust and respect as the core, treating children as independent individuals, and thinking from their point of view, can a smooth communication channel be built. Respect everywhere, communicate in everything, be a close friend of the child, the parent-child relationship can be truly harmonious.