My big brother's family has been having a hard time lately, and I somehow feel guilty whenever I'm happy? ,
My elder brother's family has been having a hard time lately. My brother and sister-in-law are divorced, my niece is moderately depressed, my elder brother has "three highs" in his forties, and my young nephew still has to rely on his elderly grandmother to take care of him.
These things weigh on my mind every day, making me feel like I'm not entitled to be happy, not entitled to be happy.
I get distracted even when making out with my partner and always feel guilty.
Only when you are fully engaged in your work can you not think about these annoyances for a while.
Hello owner, thank you for your trust. From your description, I can sense that you have been plagued by guilt, like a shadow over your heart. I hope my advice can help you.
Because of the various setbacks encountered by your elder brother's family, you feel that you can't use your own strength, just like a punch in the cotton as powerless. Then you will think in your heart, "Big brother is so unhappy, why should I have a better life than him? This means that this incident has affected you deeply.
To borrow a psychological theory, "ABC Theory."
This theory emphasizes that it is not the event itself that affects our emotions and behavior, but our perception of the event.
How to understand this theory?
Take a common example. WeChat is one of our common chatting tools. When we don't receive a timely reply to a WeChat message, we don't immediately jump to conclusions, but rather wonder why the other party didn't reply.
If you feel that the other person is a bad person, you will get angry and may pull the plug on him and stop seeing him;
If you think the other person is busy and didn't see it, you will wait patiently;
If you are worried that something has happened to the other person, you will be nervous and anxious and send more messages or call to ask.
You see, different thoughts about the same thing can lead to different emotions and actions. The key lies in the way we interpret it, which is attribution.
There are practical applications of this theory for your situation. For example, you could help your older brother's family, such as supporting your nephew financially.
For your niece, enlighten her more, show her new things, take a walk and help her forget her worries.
As for your older brother, as a brother, you can talk to him and persuade him.
I hope these suggestions are helpful.