Have you ever met someone like this? They know exactly what words will make you feel bad, but they just have to say them.
Take my uncle.
He said to my cousin at my wedding, "You should hurry up and lose some weight, so you don't end up as fat as Yang Yang (that's me)."
Central was me, when I was a few months pregnant and a little rounder.
When he saw my children later, he opened his mouth and said, "Why are they raised like little barangs (referring to Uyghur children)."
(Personally, I think that's a bit pejorative, since we used to mention that image here and often conjure up images of snotty, unkempt children running around barefoot.
Of course, times have changed. It's much better now.)
When my grandfather first passed away, my uncle was the only son among my mom's sisters, but he barely managed to do anything about the funeral and sending the ashes back home because everyone pushed him hard.
The family has a problem with him.
When Grandpa returned home to be buried, everyone borrowed a relative's house, but he ran off alone to live in a hotel in the county.
No one wanted to call him when they ate together, and then he didn't come when they did.
My dad and I walked several kilometers to the hotel to invite him, thinking that after all, he was an elder.
As a result, he turned to me and said, "Look at the way you look now, I am worried for you ......" The rest of the hard words I will not mention.
Hello, friend!
From your description, I can feel that you are holding your breath, annoyed and aggravated, and a lot of unanswered questions.
First, you've been hurt several times by your uncle's mouthy behavior, but you didn't tear yourself apart from him, you just put up with it yourself.
You said he's had depression before and you're still sympathetic and heartbroken.
You are so kind-hearted and forgiving and generous!
Secondly, all of these things you mentioned may seem like small things, but each one bites you like a little bug and makes you remember it until now.
It shows that you are particularly sensitive to the details of life and have a delicate mind!
Third, you care quite a bit about what others think.
From what your uncle said about your child, I can tell that you especially love your child and would like to hear more compliments and encouragement!
We all live in a society where there are always people around us who love to point fingers, and who likes to be judged negatively all the time! We all like to hear good things, right?
Fourthly, honestly, you really do come across people like this in life who don't care about other people's feelings at all.
We are inevitably stung and annoyed by their words! But it's too hard to change others, so we might as well adjust ourselves.
What should we do then?
Like, can we minimize contact? Or in the left ear and out the right?
For example, can you just say how you feel when you're hurt? Show your bottom line?
And then, for example, learn positive thinking exercises? Finding ways to digest bad feelings?
Then again, if you don't want to fold, it's okay to spit and continue to endure.
Fifth, there is a saying in psychology: whoever feels pain changes first, and whoever actively seeks it gets relief.
Bless you!